Bad Examples
I’ve been preoccupied with another project for the last week or so (If you’re in NYC and free on Thursday, come see), but I’ll have another song to post soon. In the meantime, I could use your brainstorming help on something. I’m trying to make a list of outrageous, grotesque medical episodes for a song that would have lyrics like this:
If I sneeze so hard
That my eyeball pops out
Will you still think I’m attractive
If my big toes are marred
From a bad case of gout
Can my feet still be sexually active
Can you help me come up with some other examples? (They don’t have to rhyme.)
If I cough up bits of my lung on you . . .
Or by mistake bite my tongue in two . . .
If I crack my knuckles and break them off . . .
Or blind myself with EasyOff . . . (OK, a poor rhyme, so sue me)
If I drop the chef’s knife on my toe . . .
And rediscover polio . . .
Corey replies: Icky stuff, Ron. Thanks! I especially like coughing up bits of my lung…
if i sing so hard that my tongue falls out
Corey replies: Oh, Dennis! Did you know that’s already happened to me once?
If I drink so much my liver explodes
If I shatter my kneecaps from running away
Corey replies: Thanks, Samantha!