What Will It Be for Me?
posted by Corey
UPDATE (03/13/09): New version of the song below.
Here’s a song about my family’s medical history and how it will affect me. I won’t embarrass my relatives by going into too much detail, but I will say that there’s a very good chance that I will suffer from at least one of the following conditions before too long:
Heart Failure
Major Depressive Disorder
Chronic Pain
Alzheimer’s
Diabetes
The instruments in this song are alto flute, piano, violin, and ‘cello. My concern is that the instrumental writing may be a bit on the too-simple side. Straight-forward would be okay, but I don’t want to cross that threshold into boredom. Or is it okay that this song is lacking a certain musical drama?
New version:
What Will It Be for Me? (03/13/09)
Audio has been removed.
Old Version(s)
What Will It Be for Me? (02/04/09)
Audio has been removed.
There’s no mystery
Given my family’s medical history
I’m headed for an early demise
The only surprise
Is what will it be for me
What will it be for me?
Cardiac arrest
Or clinically depressed
What will it be for me?
What will it be for me?
What have I got to live up to?
Will my heart give up before I do?
Will my thought disintegrate
Or will I collapse beneath their weight?
What will it be for me?
What will it be for me?
Love Yvan’s ideas, especially a).
Note from Corey: Yvan will be creating movement/choreography for the performances of Thirteen Near-Death Experiences.
Re: inter-song connections that p4limpsest raises…
I agree that some kind of returning thread throughout the piece could be nice and unifying. However, this could be accomplished in a number of ways. Two ways that come to mind are:
a) instead of having themes from one song return in another song, think about writing a single song which is chopped up and the chopped up parts are interspersed among the other songs…so themes from one song don’t infiltrate a different song, but instead it’s another part of the same song coming back.
b) instead of doing this musically, some part of the stage business or choreography provides a returning thread.
Corey replies: I like these ideas very much. I will post something soon about my idea for a returning thread…
i think this is totally beautiful. i love the instrumental texture. one of my favs actually. one thing struck me upon listening to it. often on hip-hop records, the artist will bring in special guests for a chorus or a verse or whatever. and artists like prince and michael jackson use their voice in a ton of different ways to break up the record. though it’d be tough to make it work live, i love the idea of more vocal variety in instances when you’re concerned about a lack of drama. for instance, kamala’s back-up vox on OPLS live really add a wonderful extra element to the performance, while not forcing the instrumental texture in an unnatural direction.
Corey replies: I had not thought of bringing in “guest vocalists,” but I like the idea. Maybe there’s a way to do it with a cassette-tape player, a sampler, or something like that.
Corey – I didn’t find this song undramatic at all. For me, the tension between the music (like others – I love the disjointedness of the various parts) and the emotion in the words is quite compelling. And I think that Jim has an interesting point about the last note – might be fun to play with that in rehearsal.
Corey replies: Thanks, Emma. I’m almost compelled to make this song quite a bit longer…
I think this piece is quite lovely; beautifully melancholy, especially the instrumental parts. I did not lose interest, and imagine I would be interested even if it was more simple.
Thanks for sharing with us this way Corey. I like reading about your process as I listen to new songs.
Corey replies: Thank you, Keely, for participating! I’m glad you did not lose interest. Maybe simpler is the way to go with this song… at least for a little while.
Agree with Rob. I enjoy how monotonous and off kilter this is.
Shit. I also wanted to mention that whenever the rhythm is like m. 4, I think the 5 in the tuplet is confusing. Since most of the notes are eighths, shouldn’t it be 10?
Corey replies: I agree. This is a Sibelius/notation problem that I have yet to figure out… Sibelius will not allow me to use the number 10 to define my tuplet. Working on it…
Ahh, well if they’re artificial harmonics than you can write essentially any note you want without compunction. Although there is controversy about how to notate natural harmonics, I’m not aware of any controversy about artificial harmonic notation. Put a regular notehead of whatever rhythmic value you want on the pitch two octaves below what you want to hear, then put an open diamond notehead a P4th above it. It will look (and the MIDI might play it) as if it were a P4 double-stop, but the player will immediately recognize it. What have others told you?
Corey replies: Others have told me to write the sounding pitch with a circle over it. They are no longer to be trusted!!
I think I would greatly miss the rhythmic disjunctions if you got rid of them. That was what made the tune for me. Although I don’t hate Trevor’s idea about having them come together for some part. Or maybe when a later tune refers back to this one?
Another larger point: Are you thinking at all about inter-song connections in this cycle? I always like when at least small parts of other tunes reappear in new contexts on later tunes, but that’s definitely just my own sensibility.
The cello harmonics: Are you planning on these being artificial harmonics? If so, you should notate them as such. If not, then the B and the C don’t exist in natural form unless you bring them down an octave (you’re not notating treble clef cello an octave higher than you want it to sound, are you?). Even an octave down, the C is very difficult in natural form. Still, the fact that it’s almost possible using natural harmonics makes me want to find a way.
The piano RH clef: You might need to underline the fact that you’re using the “octave-higher” clef in the actual part. I think it would take a while for me to notice that if I were the pianist.
Corey replies: Damn that “C” harmonic! I was thinking artificial harmonics. I get conflicting advice on how best to notate harmonics for string players. The treble clef is notated as sounds (not an octave higher). Yes, the piano part will have big text over the RH clef that says “8va throughout!” It will be a much bigger font than in the score.
As for song interconnectedness… Yes, I’m thinking about it, and I do like the idea of having recurring inter-song motifs. I’ve even thought about making an almost identical instrumental score for two different songs. I expect to address these issues as I’m writing, but like I said in another reply to comments earlier, some of things inter-song ideas may not be addressed until the entire set of songs are conceived.
The line “cardiac arrest” is sung so delicately and vulnerably, that I actually want more space before “clinically depressed”.
I understand the rhythms being used as a sort of text-painting of melancholy uncertainty in the piece, but at the same time, on just a musical level, I wanted them to have a point where the disjointedness dissolved into a sort of rhythmic stasis, which could be v. beautiful. By the time I listened the third time I was having doubts about that idea though, so take it with a grain. Jim’s totally opposite sensibility might be the right one.
Otherwise I’ll echo the general consensus that the lack of musical drama and complexity did not bother me at all.
Corey replies: Maybe there’s some sort of compromise to be worked out… I might ask the players to freely ornament their lines, but on the other hand, the quirky notes (i.e. the correct wrong notes) might be lost if there’s too much decoration.
Hi everybody!
One quick comment, connecting one of Rob’s thoughts and Corey’s concerns about musical drama. I, like Rob, really like the way the instrumental parts (excepting the piano) don’t really line up with each other or the vocal lines. And I really love the lack of musical drama. So, that makes me not so crazy about the last sustained low note in the cello. If it needs to end down there, I’d consider cutting it a little shorter, so that it matches the rest of the material throughout the piece.
Corey replies: I will try that out in rehearsals. Thanks, Jim.
Nice to have a virtual meeting with you guys, Corey, KT, and David. I miss you all. Thanks for the song, Corey, and the invitation to talk about it.
I never felt bored listening to it. The lyrics are so straightforward, they keep my attention, as if I was in a serious discussion with a close friend. They convey an understanding of the grim reality of death without losing a sense of its poetry.
I love the musical arrangement; it sounds like the “band” is trying desperately to play something together, but falls a little short every time. And I like listening to how the vocal part lines up with the big piano chords, and that in relation to everything else. I appreciate the variety of textures, from simplest to complex, and I think they were in fine balance.
Also, I like that the song dies matter-of-factly.
Sorry, I know that’s not very critical of me, but I’m just giving my real first impressions. I’ll listen to it again now and think of some negative things to say. (just kidding.)
Corey replies: Hi Rob, It makes me happy that you like the song “as is,” and I appreciate that you articulate the specific things you like about it. If it bothers you that you can’t think of anything critical to say, just think of your uncritical response as a criticism of David’s and kt’s responses! So there!
I agree with everything kt said. Also, I think it can be really OK for a song to be lack a certain musical drama, or rather a “boring” song can feel right/necessary in the context of the overall sequence. (At least that is how I justify when I write boring stuff.) Are you posting the songs in the order they will be in in the finished suite?
Corey replies: Hi David, I’m posting the songs in the order I’m writing them, which is not necessarily the order they will be in the finished piece. I agree that “boring” is sometimes appropriate and even necessary. As kt suggested, I will probably write an even more pared down version of this song to try out in rehearsals.
corey,
i’m sure you can understand how i really identify/empathize with the concepts behind this piece, particularly that of the relationship btwn family medical history and self. i believe you are thinking about the right thing for trouble-shooting. the text is great, and the simplicity is wonderful. the sung portion is also a good example of how well you write for your own voice. if i were writing this, i would be tempted to play with ranges or extremes. or, conversely, with simplifying it even more. specifically, simplifying either the rhythm or the pitches. the pitches are already very simple–that’s quite enjoyable, but i think the simplicity of rhythm and pitch could be balanced more. not balanced as in symmetrical, but balanced nonetheless. on the other hand, if you want to go for more complexity, have you thought about phasing? it might make the piece longer than you like, but it could really work well. but those are my temptations. we’ll see where yours go.
Corey replies: Yes, it’s always good to be reminded that I could always do the opposite of what I’m thinking of doing. I’m going to try to make two revised versions: one in which the instrumental parts are even simpler, and one in which the instruments take on more prominently complex roles. Thanks, kt!